Being a teenager felt like stepping into a crowded room and still feeling completely alone.
The weight of that emotion used to drown me at times, because I genuinely believed I was invisible. Lucky for me, it was only with time that I realized nothing about this feeling was ever true. Instead, it was just an emotion I hadn’t yet learned to understand.
Though I often wonder, if I had known how to handle my emotions as a teenager, would life have felt a little lighter? Perhaps one honest conversation, one reassuring voice, or one piece of advice could have helped me feel less isolated.
Telling My Teenager Self What She Needed to Hear
The younger version of me didn’t ask for fortunes or grand gestures. She just needed a reminder that being vulnerable wasn’t a sign of being weak. There was nothing to hide about it either. However, sadly, there was no one to tell her that these teenage emotions were a part of basic human instinct. They can be raw, overwhelming, and confusing, but they carry powerful lessons about trust, love, and safety.
Hence, looking back at them can help us see why we felt the way we did, what we truly needed, and how far we have come. In addition, when we reflect, we offer kindness to our past selves and strength to the person we are still becoming. That is how healing begins.
So, now if I could sit beside my teenage self for five minutes, I know exactly what I’d say and, more importantly, how I’d say it.
The Ages 13 to 19: An Emotional Roller Coaster Ride
Adolescence is not just a phase, but a complete journey of mood swings where the young adult experiences all kinds of sentiments. Such as from self-doubt to self-discovery, every year of the teenage years brings its own set of feelings, challenges, and breakthroughs. Here is a detailed analysis of the honest emotions of a teenager in three key stages:
1- The Early Adolescence
The common emotions in this stage are confusion, self-consciousness, and mood swings. As a result, the individual develops concrete thinking, a strong desire to fit in with peers, and an increased need for privacy. Moreover, thanks to puberty, the emotional ups and downs are pretty real, as the chart below shows.
2 – The Middle Adolescence
During these years, the young adult is in a fight-or-flight zone. Number one, they are struggling through insecurities of comparing themselves to others. Next, they are being rebellious, pushing the boundaries very hard to find independence. Lastly, their romantic curiosity is rising, and they are going through their first crushes/heartbreaks.
3 – The Late Adolescence
The most deadly is the ages of eighteen to twenty-one. This is when the individual is moving through the phases of hopefulness or future, but there is also a triggering fear of failure. Apart from this, during these ages, the young adults are also starting to accept themselves. Thus, they are seen getting better control over values and responsibilities. A lot of this calm also comes from the effective coping strategies.
One Precious Advice That I’d Give to My Junior Version
I know puberty is hitting you like a truck, and I also know you won’t share how confusion, loneliness, pressure, anger, and sadness are taking a toll on your mental health. But remember just one thing, you are not the only one going through these emotional roller coaster rides.
This also means that you are allowed to feel lost. You are allowed to cry without needing a “real” reason. That weight on your chest? It’s not a weakness. It’s emotion, and you are human.
So, find someone you can talk to or just write it down. Do whatever you can to let it out because healing does not come from pretending that you are fine. It comes from owning your storm and taking charge.
Dear Self, You Are Not Invisible!
Hey there, you need to quit thinking nobody notices you. They don’t see through you; they see you. Yes, YOU. There is always someone around who looks up to you for inspiration. Someone who silently admires your strength, your kindness, your way of existing in the world, even when you feel like you’re fading.
Life has taught me that my presence is someone’s quiet reason to keep going. So, you better not forget that. Also, the fact that you haven’t found this person yet doesn’t mean they do not exist. They are there; you need to look harder, pretty girl. Your feelings are not wrong, and neither are you. One day, you’ll look back and realize you were stronger than you ever knew.
Wrapping It Up!
If you are a teenager reading this, know that it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed and panicked during these ages. Every single person who has once been your age has gone through the same, and look how they have found their way now. You will find yours too.
If you have grown up, this is a reminder to take a moment to forgive your younger self. It was their first time dealing with strong emotions, and those mistakes are no less than little trophies life gave them for trying. Every single lesson is worth being proud of. Now, share this with someone who needs to hear this.
